Friends, Husbands, Media and Moms: Five Thoughts of an Adroit Hopper



woman thoughbubble

Given last week’s Fabulous Fibula Fracture, I suddenly find myself with a significant amount of time on my hands.

Time I cannot spend on my feet. Or at least on my left foot on which I cannot bear any weight. Which has turned me into a rather adroit hopper.

But I cannot hop all day long.  So how to spend this unexpected gift of time?

Thinking. And Writing.

Here’s my chance to write without any filter, to dredge up my innermost thoughts, to articulately reflect on the state of the human condition.

What do I have strong feelings about? Here’s my list of current issues – sarcasm first, serious to close:


1. On the Importance of Having Wonderful Friends: Even those friends who assure me in all sincerity that they will stop by, visit, bring me lunch and then forget to do so while I am home with my propped-up ankle, I still like you. I remember those VERY BUSY days when I was working f/t when I could not jam everything in. When I made promises meant in good faith as the words dripped from my lips. It’s fine, I am here – bored, hungry and lonely on the couch if you ever find a few minutes to drop by. I get it.


2. On the Value of a Deeply Caring Husband: Even one, like mine, who is constitutionally unable to close a bureau drawer after opening it. Who kindly opens said drawers, gets out my clothes and even helps me pull on ratty old Pilates pants over my “booted” left leg. And then “forgets” to close the bureau drawers. Or the closet doors. He thinks I am a bit off in my insistence that what was opened must then be closed. While I temporarily cannot do these chores, they will not get done. His mild little revenge on one of my pet peeves. I get it.

3. On the Efficacy of the News Media: Even before the Fabulous Fibula Fracture, I was overly attached to being well-informed. So with this extra time, I’m absorbing more content than ever. CNN. MSNBC. World affairs. Domestic Politics. I’m finally caught up. Which is why I am not at all bothered by the Breaking News crawl that flashes at the bottom of the screen for up to a full seven (I’ve counted)hours after the original event took place without providing any new details. Don’t move on, CNN. Stay with that story with no updates. Being told over and over again that the same thing has “just” happened makes me internalize it better. What an innovative news technique for us slow learners. I get it.

4. On the Need to Remind Us That We Are Getting Older: Even I recognize that aging dulls one’s ability to stay on-trend. Which is why I’m happy to be reminded via all forms of media, social and otherwise, which I now have the time to appreciate, how hard I must work to keep up.  I recently learned what “on fleek” means. I know that “Hulu” is a video streaming service, not only a dance done in Hawaii. And that “streaming” has nothing to do the rush of water downhill. Thank you, Millennials who create these new phrases and technologies to torment us, your parents, the non “digital natives.” We provided the same torment, sort of, to our own parents. I get it.

And MUCH more seriously.


5. On the Wisdom of Knowing What You Do Not Know: These past few weeks (and really for far longer than that) I have wanted to opine, oh how I have wanted to opine, on what I think about the uptick in mass shootings. About how my first sympathies –  beginning with Virginia Tech, running through Columbine, Sandy Hook, Tucson, Aurora – are always, bizarre as it may seem to others, for the mothers of the young male shooters, for the moms who also lost a child, now vilified for the ages. Our national focus is, as it should be, on the victims of the shootings and on the multiple, interconnected reasons for each tragedy, but somehow my heart also always goes out to the mothers who loved their sons but could not reach them. From all that I have read, I know with certainty just two things:  (i) all of these young males had access to guns, which they should not have had and (ii) that they were socially isolated, lonely individuals who needed help from their communities which they did not receive. The larger answers to this troubling puzzle?  I have the wisdom to know that I do not have those answers. But ponder them I will.




Filed under Aging, Communications, Female Friends, friendship, Husbands, Mental Health, Midlife, Moms, Sons, Women, Women's Health, Writing, Young Adult Mental Health

7 responses to “Friends, Husbands, Media and Moms: Five Thoughts of an Adroit Hopper

  1. My husband found himself in a similar situation for 6 weeks this cool, rainy spring and 1 week this summer with his ankle incident. He caught up on Game of Thrones. He read 8 books. He said it was one of the best 6 weeks of his life because he could not do anything so he did not feel guilty for not doing anything. The one week this summer he was less than compliant, the novelty, poor weather and Game of Thrones were all gone.
    I wish you a speedy recovery and more serious and light opine shared here!


  2. Lovely piece. I resonated especially with your thoughts on the mothers of shooters and the availability of guns. Keep writing! Sara

    Sent from my iPhone


  3. Miriam Daniel

    Nice and yes, I will come to visit!


  4. I, alas, cannot visit. And I had to Google “on fleek” just now, but so not a term worth remembering. That being said, I do love that your heart goes out to the parents and families of the shooters. We need more compassion in this world. We may not have all the answers, but I think compassion, even for the shooters, might be an important first step.


  5. Ann

    Wow! Your #5 gave me chills. I thought I was the only one who felt that way! And I loved your piece “A Different Kind of Kvelling”. That one made me cry! You have a beautiful gift! Hope you heal fast!


  6. L

    Careful about the hopping… Many years ago, I sprained an ankle and hopped (can’t carry a laundry basket with crutches, right?), and caused a stress fracture in the hopped-on leg. It certainly wasn’t the end of the world, but it definitely wasn’t much fun. Hope you heal quickly and are back on both feet soon!


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